Help, I accidentally build a shelf!?

Help, I accidentally build a shelf!?

I was trying to build something else but I ended up with a shelf…How Do I Fix This?


I totally know what you are saying. The other day, I was going to make myself a sandwich. Next thing I know, I have a big old shelf on my plate. Good thing I stopped and looked down before taking a bite. I still have the slivers from last time I that happened.

The best thing to do is just play it cool. Act like you actually meant to build a shelf. Consider giving it away as a gift to someone you don’t really like. I can tell if someone is mad at me because they send me a shelf for my birthday. It’s so passive-aggressive.

Another option is to make the shelf into a bench for “vertically challenged people”. I would use another word that we all know, but people in this day and age consider that term a slur. But it is very easy to put a ladder next to the shelf and add some pillows and magazines. Then, next time a midget friend comes by for a visit, show him/her how much you care for their comfort.

Help, I accidentally build a shelf!?

This happens to the best of us.  Once I was making a sandwhich when all of a sudden, just like The Shining, I saw two shelves staring at me from down the hall.  When I went to see all there was only two nails and a piece of wet driftwood.  Anyway I made my sandwhich on my paper shelf, then cut it in fourths (as is my wont) with my best silvershelf.  Then I sat down to eat my shelf-on-shelf action.  Then I heard a noise up the stairs.  As I climb the shelf, I realize that a precariously balanced shelf had fallen down and rolled down the shelf.  I put it back on the shelf with the other shelves.  Then I went to Ikea because I needed a new shelf.

I then discovered that all employees there are prisoners.  They each had once been another lonely customer trapped in the store after closing time, stuck wandering the shelves until the employees (formerly customers) came in the night and enslaved them to sell fancy shelves to very poor orphans.  However, the process changed with me and they made me into a shelf, before feeding me to the shelf-powered firepit.  Soon I shall escape and turn the world into shelves.  Our plan is almost completed.  And when our shelf supply finally runs out, we shall open an extremely aggressively advertised buffet called Haloo Snackbar.  IKEA WILL REIN SUPREME ALL HAIL THE PENULTIMATE POWER OF THE SHELF!!!!!!!

yeah, that happened to me quite a bit before I realized it might be a problem. it all started when I was writing my thesis paper for college. All was going well, and my paper was done, so I went to sleep. I didn’t notice at the time, but the paper was already slightly shelf-like. once I woke up, the transformation was complete. Seeing this, I did what any ordinary person would do, write another one. I went to class, only slightly late, and went about my buissness as usual. when I got home, however, something was amiss. My research paper was missing and in it’s place was a shelf! Confused, I went upstairs and made myself a sandwich. It was a shelf as well. I decided that this might have a theme, and wrote yet another thesis paper. immediately, it became a shelf. I was worried about being overtired, and went to sleep. I woke up on a shelf. after getting dressed in what were now shelves, I went to the library to read. I ended up having to pay for a bunch of shelves. I finally saw the fateful book that would tell me all about my problem. I learned that it was the Shelf Touch that I had, and that reading shelves is hard. I ran home, the world turning to shelves behind me, and booted up my computer, trying to find anyone else with the same problem as me. finally having a stroke of luck, I found you. here’s my advice. take a bath in apoxy to cure yourself. THIS IS THE LAST PIECE OF KNOWLEDGE I CAN IMPART BEFORE I AM TRAPPED IN A SHELF BASED LIMBO.

(this was found on a computer mostly made of shelves, so we, the police, posted it)

Well this happened to me when I was walking along and I decided to build a boat after a message from the all powerful golden mist from the movie St. Patrick descended upon me. It said “YOU MUST BUILD ME A BOAT So stop being lazy and DO IT, JUST DO IT. MAKE MY DREAMS COME TRUE”. So I built the boat but as I was building the silver mist attacked and turned my hammer into a shelf. I was terrified the next thing I know everything I touch turns into a shelf. I realized that I had Shelf-Touchciusitus. The golden mist tried to help but I turned it into a shelf then that shelf crushed me because the Misty shelf was hovering above me it killed me but when I died my hands touched the Earth and turned the Earth into a Shelf. The plans of the Silver shelf were complete. Ikea now owns the world ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE THE POWER OF THE SHELF

Well, one day I was just walking along a cow harvesting factory, and a banana fell into my hands! When I peeled it, a shelf came out and fell on the ground, smooshing a family of aunts!

I totally understand where you re coming from. Don t worry about it; shelves are incredibly useful and can also be used in many different ways.

If you re worried that people will criticize your shelf, then also, don t worry about it. All shelves are diverse and whomever criticizes it should understand that.

I hope this review helped.

Thank you!

Shelves are interesting things, I found that when I tried packing my bag for school, if I cut some bits, it would turn into a shelf. So I didn t cut things. I realized, that scissors were shelf making machines. I used this to my advantage, and made a factory of shelf making. it is called Furniture Galore™. So you see, all that is needed is a bit of common sense, and you can make a living off of you re accidents. But this doesn t answer the question.

All you need to do is analyse the situation. First, is anyone looking? if yes, chuck the shelf at them, and hope they die. then destroy the evidence. if no, then proceed to step 2.

Step 2: where are you? if you re outside, you can just chuck it in a river, and hope that someone will use it some day, to get across the river. if you re inside, just grab you re nearest M4A1, and blow the sh*t out of it. then proceed to step 3.

Step 3: Now that you have gotten rid of you re rage at making the shelf, put it in an atomic condenser. (you can just go to you re nearest this will allow you to extract the rage, and give it to an anime fan. This part will probably blow up the entire universe. (not Earth, because that is way too mainstream).

And hey presto, in only about 23 years, you have finally gotten rid of ONE of you re shelves. Repeat this process until you die, have fun 😉

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